East & West - Review

Oh, well. And if this ISN'T a Christmas miracle then I don't know what is. I found this old review in my drafts and while some of you may have read it before, some of you definitely won't have! Wow, oh wow.

Anyway, this was the last review I ever did as the official Food Reviewer for this lil newspaper. The end came thanks to what SOME people would regard as "a series of fuck ups". Actually, these fuck ups have ended up making 2013 one of the most fulfilling and fantastic years I've had as an adult on this planet.

So, RIP food column but hello to becoming a better, happier human.

Love and best wishes from the meanest muncher in town xxx

SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT

​Food Review: East & West

Address: 227 Abbeydale Road, Sheffield S7 1FJ



Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com

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Nothing is new; it’s all been done before. The Rolling Stones were the best rock ‘n’ roll band, the 1920s/50s/60s had the best fashion and Nokia phones are basically as good as technology is ever going to get. Sadly, the same can be said for the world of food: an Indian restaurant usually means a pickle tray to start, some curry and a side; an Italian means a thin-crust pizza or lasagne and a Chinese means chicken coloured in with a luminous orange highlighter.


So, when you come across something a bit different, something that you don’t quite understand, it’s a bit of a shock to the system. East and West is a tiny, inconspicuous South Indian and Sri Lankan restaurant squeezed onto Abbeydale Road and is exactly that: a cuisine that until now, I was virtually unaware of.

The neon sign à la ‘local takeaway’, the no-frills interior spotted with wonky tables, the toilet located outside, down an alleyway, and the metal school-dinner trays that each course is served upon might cause the typical restaurant-seeker to do a Dionne Warwick (walk on by, for the uncultured). However, if you’re feeling a little adventurous then East and West is just the ticket.

I still don’t fully understand the menu – what is a starter and what is a main? Do these things even exist? Why do we eat three times a day? I don’t know! Stop asking me questions! To ‘start’ I had the Chilli Paneer (£4.25), which was a total dream and highly, utterly recommended: chunky peppers, onions, and this un-meltable cheese all smothered in the greatest sharp, zingy sauce.

We then moved onto a Dosa, which is basically a large crepe, filled with whatever you like. It’s not quite a main and it’s not quite a starter – reflected in the price (£3.50 - £5.95) but it’s worth a try. We tried grated paneer and masala dosa, both of which were nice and tasty but could have done with a bit more filling to warrant the Sahara-esque expanse of pancake.

The brilliantly-titled Chicken Devilled (£5.50) for me, at least, conjures up terrific images of a world taken over by chickens, all led by a possessed rooster despot. Back in Sheffield though, this translates into chilli chicken and is a joy.

I must point out that East and West is no longer a BYOB establishment and they enforce this new licensing very strictly (a woman left the restaurant because she was not permitted to drink her bottle of red onsite). Alcohol is for sale though and the bottle of wine we shared did the job nicely, so much so that my recollection of how the food tasted from this point onwards is slightly hazy.

To finish, I ordered the Mixed Veg Uttappam (£4.95), which is described as a thick crepe. For me, it felt more like a solid omelette, full of chunky tomato slices and a few peppers but garnished superbly with herbs and a choice of three sauces to dip into.

The gratification of eating out and being able to pick something like an Uttappam, in complete ignorance, is something I miss. This new world of guessing and road-testing unfamiliar dishes and liking them or not liking them is something that we so rarely see now. This owes to the authenticity of the food at East and West, marking it on the map as a must for any food lover.

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Fusion Organic Café - Review

UNRELATED: missing my bro this Christmas (he is on an oil rig)

I wanted to do a post on ‘how to have a vegetarian Christmas’ (above) but I couldn’t be bothered to take any photos and my mum has done all the cooking which means it would be a bit of a cheat. Next year, huh?

Anyway, I wanted to bring to you a little story. When I was about 8 or 9, my parents took me to Spain for a summer holiday and it was the first trip on a plane I had ever had!

We flew with British Airways and apart from the whole getting a metal lump filled with people into the air and actually managing to steer it to a specific location, the most fascinating thing for me was the sick bag.

I wondered if I should start collecting them from all the different airlines. The one (overwhelming and ultimately fatal) worry I had was that most of my friends had already flown before. What was the point in collecting them when everyone else already had TEN sick bags? I was on the back foot and instead of fighting against adversity, I gave up.

Over the next few years, I had the good fortune to fly with Aeroflot (you shared a recycled one), Emirates (a 24-carat gold sack for one’s pukes), JAL (a cute Hello Kitty bag), American Airlines (supersize), Virgin (you puke into a sexy cabin crew member’s hand) and so on and so forth.

And each time I flew, I thought “you stupid, stupid idiot – why didn’t you start collecting them when you first thought about it” but NOW, I can’t start collecting them because I have missed all these opportunities already and so there is absolutely no point…even if I manage to fly on a million more airlines, there is still no point because I have missed all these opportunities.

And this is how I feel about Fusion Organic Café in Sheffield. It’s always a worry to review a restaurant when you have spoken at length about sick. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea here so let me be explicit:

I ONLY WISH THAT I HAD TAKEN A PHOTOGRAPH OF EVERY SALAD I HAVE EVER EATEN THERE BECAUSE THEY VARY EVERYDAY, THEY ARE MORE INVENTIVE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE AND THE PEOPLE THERE PRODUCE SIX SALADS EVERY DAY. I STOPPED TAKING PHOTOS BECAUSE I HAVE MISSED SO MANY AND NOW THE TASK FEELS OVERWHELMING. THE SALADS ARE DELICIOUS AND THE ONLY REASON THEY ARE LINKED TO SICK IS BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE STARTED TAKING PHOTOS OF THEM WHEN I FIRST THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

And so, this is (to eliminate any remaining confusion) a positive review.

The salads cost £3.70. You get to choose 3/6 salads and when I say salad, I mean lentils and sweet potato and bulgur wheat and purple sprouting broccoli, olives, courgette ribbons, coconut rice….basically all the stuff that you can’t be arsed to cook! For all the veggies out there – this place is as good as it gets for a work lunch. It’s almost all veggie and loads of gluten-free, dairy-free stuff. OMG I can’t shut up about this place and OMG it does meat too for all you cute-baby-animal eaters (lol lol).

Oh and one final thing. The café is a training café linked to Freeman College so that young people with learning difficulties or behavioural problems can train and work in a great environment. The staff there – especially Moo, who is perhaps the most enthusiastic cashier I have ever met – are wonderful. It’s a great business and a producer of ultra-healthy food that we are lucky to have in Sheffield.

Butcher Works, 74 Arundel Street, Sheffield S1 2NS – I think they close at about 3pm and they are also shut in school holidays. Take out or eat in.

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The Wick At Both Ends - Review

Sadly, an orb floated over the "Ends" bit.

I'm perilously close to falling off the wagon with this food blogging malarkey. The horse is racing away and I'm hanging onto the back of my clunky wagon, perhaps with both hands but possibly only one. My legs are certainly flailing though.

I've had an awful cold, a super new job (hello any bosses reading this!), the search for a new flat and it's all meant that I've become a bit more relaxed about writing and cooking.

What am I still doing though? EATING OUT, that's what.

Anyway, don't panic because I'm far too greedy to ever stop eating and as soon as I get my mind back, I'll be on at you all again. In the meantime, you may now read about the time I was invited to road-test the new Spring menu at the Wick At Both Ends on West Street.

GOING UP WEST TO THE WICK

​Food Review: The Wick at Both Ends

Address: 151 West Street, Sheffield S1 4EW



Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com

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It really is refreshing to visit The Wick At Both Ends (henceforth TWABE, for the sake of my word count) with a clear head. The last time I was here, I was treated to a flambéed lemon cheesecake shot which also doubled up as a Men in Black ‘Neuralyzer’, causing me to lose all memory between the hours of 11pm and 6.30am.



This time though, sober and strained from work, I stumbled into TWABE to sample the new menu and was immediately tranquilized - not by the alcohol – but by the dreamy low-ceiling, the nooks and crannies strewn with entwined fairy lights and ivy, the muted candles and dark wood flooring. I thought to myself “Wow, it’s good at night and it’s great in the day…I wonder where they get the name from?”



TWABE is more Division Street than West Street but I’m glad it’s chosen the latter as its home. It’s a bit like Caitlin Moran writing for the Times: she doesn’t just take the easy Grauniad route and preach to the converted. TWABE is the same sort of thing and West Street is all the better for it.



My guest ordered a selection of 3 small plates for £10: welsh cockle pies, mini cottage pies and a carpaccio of duck. I decided to gallantly sample the mushroom burger (£6.95) with an extra helping of Y-Fenni mustard and ale cheese.

Now, I don’t want to get too brown-nosey about the burger but this one does beat almost all of the offerings from dedicated burger restaurants. I’ll try to tell you why because after all, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? It’s the bun – which is so soft and brioche-like, it’s the chips which – shock horror – are included in the price and it’s the piece of information, underneath the burger selection, that doesn’t just say “add cheddar” but permits you to add ANY cheese from the cheeseboard to your burger.



We were similarly impressed by the Welsh cockle pies which, once you broke through the delightful crispy pastry on top, were full of creamy sauce, bacon, leeks and fairly obviously, cockles. These were the pinnacle of the show and are highly recommended. The cottage pie was, well, a cottage pie and it would be silly to expect anything other than a homemade-tasting pot of beef and peas in a gravy sauce (the rich, red wine element being slightly lost) topped with mash. Nothing bad about that though and certainly a safe choice.

And finally was the carpaccio of duck, which was delightful in itself with the port and cherry reduction but - and now I’m being really picky - didn’t need the extra garnish of glacé cherries; a bit like a supremely good-looking bloke wearing too much expensive aftershave.

To finish off, we took 2 of the 3 desserts (which can cleverly be used as 1 of your 3 small plates for £10): cheesecake with a raspberry coulis and freshly baked cookies with ice cream. The other option is baked chocolate fondant served in a teacup, which for me completes perhaps the most faultless trio of desserts on offer in any restaurant, any where.



The fair prices, the quiet, the warmth, the good music, the service and the quality and choice of the food mean that, for me, TWABE is a Sheffield meal you can’t afford to miss out on.

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Wagamamas - Review

Itame Yasai - £8.65

I don't really think there is any point in writing introductions to my Mercury reviews anymore. First of all, my reviews introduce themselves and second of all, posting them on here, a few days after they have been published on the site is such a, well, routine. And routines exist, I suppose, so pointless explanations like this don't have to.

FULL OF EASTERN DELIGHT

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Food Review: Wagamama

Address: 2 Leopold Square, Sheffield S1



Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com

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As much as I try to concentrate on local, independent operations in Sheffield, you sometimes just want to sack off all the risk-taking and run along to the old-faithful. It’s a bit like Sunita’s affair on Coronation Street – in the end, she just wanted to be back with solid and dependable Dev. Sometimes familiarity is the nicest thing.

After being seated at one of the large canteen-style benches at the Leopold Sqaure branch, a friendly waiter came over to ask whether we had been to Wagamamas before.

Now, if the restaurant worked in an unconventional way like, I don’t know, you had to write your menu choices on your forehead and recite the lyrics of Food Glorious Food for someone to come and take your order then it might make sense to explain it. Wagamamas just works like any other restaurant though and so I think what they’re trying to say here is that it’s possible that not all your dishes will arrive at the same time.

If you’re a bit wary about Japanese food, thinking it’s all uncooked fish and weird, salty tasting sauces, you should definitely order a katsu curry. You will be fed either healthy chicken or obese chicken (the chickens are, as far as I know, uniformly farmed but the fried stuff will make you obese and the grilled stuff might make you thin) covered in chip shop curry sauce (£9.40). There is also a deep-fried veggie option (obese) which I ordered (£8.45). Katsu curry is so cutting edge that I don’t think the Japanese have even discovered it yet. The fools!

The traditional Japanese dish: Yasai Katsu Curry - £8.45

My fellow diner ordered Itame Yasai (£8.65), which is also newly available with prawns (£10.85) or chicken (£9.75). The itame contains a ton of fresh ingredients for the price you pay: beansprouts, chillies, red and spring onions, bok choi, pepper and mushrooms.

Wagamamas are perhaps the only company I know to suffer from reverse Creme Egg syndrome. What I mean by this is that usually, everyone complains that manufacturers make their products smaller (whilst simultaneously increasing the price “to take account of inflation” aka to buy a new company car).

Now, ruling out the fact that I have unwittingly become Benjamin Button, I believe that over the years, the portions have expanded. This is a company policy that should be applauded and applied to boobs, wine bottles and Jammy Dodgers; wouldn’t THAT be a party you’d want to be invited to?Having said all that, when you go to these chains you do hope that the economies of scale are paying off. In return for sacrificing any hint of passion or individuality, you should expect to pay less than, say, a family-run noodle bar.

What makes me sad about Wagamamas is the price of the desserts. A slice of (admittedly, very tasty) white chocolate and ginger cheesecake costs a whopping £5.10. They’re just pushing their luck a bit, aren’t they? Let’s conservatively assume that there are 12 slices per 1 mass-produced cheesecake. Do a bit of maths and you will soon discover that this cheesecake is worth £61.20.

A 'taster' dessert (white chocolate and ginger cheesecake) with a double espresso. This is a new thing they do that I didn't mention in the review because I ran out of words. Very good though. 

Shave a quid off the desserts, keep making the portions bigger and I’m yours, Wagas.

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Silversmiths - Review

Here I am! Better late than never! Or maybe that isn't true. Some things would be better if they never happened. Anyway, here is my review of Silversmiths:

WORTHY OF MORE THAN SILVER

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Food Review: Silversmiths

Address: 111 Arundel Street, Sheffield S1



Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com

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After last week’s little jolly into the world of takeaway, I’m now back in the zone and perhaps most crucially of all, back in a restaurant. I wanted the best: service, ambience, food and company and so I plumped for what can only be described as a celebrity restaurant. Silversmiths is a celebrity because it once played host to a celebrity chef (the sweary one, not the school dinner one), who shouted a lot and told them what to do.

I had booked my table earlier in the day and toyed with the idea of giving myself a pseudonym. This is what restaurant critics sometimes do, you see, so they don’t get superior treatment when the restaurant works out who they are.

Now, unlike those idiots, I would actually love to get preferential treatment and so I considered such false names as “Beyonce” and (to make it a bit more realistic) “Sean Bean”. However, my friend wisely reminded me that I had a duty of care as a reviewer and that I should therefore retain my own name to ensure total anonymity.

Silversmiths is located just behind the Sheffield Hallam students’ union and very near to the train station. The restaurant itself is unusual. There is a long, lone bench, split up into black leather sofas. This means that you dine very publically and very close to others. A man next to me, having just been shown to his seat, exclaimed “This isn’t what I imagined at all! I don’t like it...”

I do like it though. Too many times, I have wrongly assumed restaurant booths to be soundproofed, private chambers where unremitting gossip cannot be overheard by others. Too often, this has not been the case and I would say that restaurant booths are almost entirely responsible for my depleted social circle.

We chose to sample 2 courses for £14.90, which is a deal available on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Both of us decided on mains and desserts - not because there was anything wrong with the starters - but simply because we love a cake.

I went for the cauliflower pie and my friend enjoyed some ‘loose birds’ (I’m too into womens’ lib for the joke in your head). This dish consisted of free-range chicken terrine and Wentworth pheasant terrine, sticky cabbage and creamed leeks. We were both impressed with our mains, although you will need a side or two to share (£2.95 each) to pad it out.

The pie! And peas!

Lads! Loose birds just 4 U!!!

I then had a bit of a Sliding Doors fiasco with the desserts. After spending an age debating between baked vanilla cheesecake and flourless dark chocolate cake, I decided on the chocolate. As if there was some mighty force laughing at my gaffe, the waitress mistakenly brought out the cheesecake and I wish I had accepted it. There was nothing wrong per se with the chocolate cake (apart from the beetroot sorbet, which I think I am too much of a barbarian to ‘get’) but the cheesecake had looked incredible. My friend took a honey and lemon panna cotta and we both agreed that this was a perfect palette-cleanser, wonderfully textured and a sure fire winner.

I would have happily settled for raspberry sorbet but this stuff is BEETROOT!

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Chico-Chile - Review

IT'S CHICO (-CHILE) TIME

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Food Review: Chico Chile

Address: 1 Orchard Square, Sheffield S1 2FB



Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com

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This week, I went rogue, becoming a bit like a gastronomic Jack Bauer: I took the brief (“to review restaurants”), spat on it, trod on it and brutally hurled it into the green recycling paper and cardboard compartment at work. Yep, I went wild.



You see, instead of sauntering out one evening to a restaurant, to take pleasure in the service and the vibes, I decided to review Chico-Chile, a takeaway counter located at the bottom end of Orchard Square.



This place has been around for ages; first called Pirates Pastys and presumably selling pasties, then called Pirates Pastys but selling Mexican chillis and wraps and finally, the owner told me to come back this week for the latest renaissance, where the name finally bears some resemblance to the product. You might call this place the Snoop Lion of the culinary world.

I plumped for the Quorn chilli fajita (£4) and my friend took a diablo chicken burrito (£5). Now, Mexican purists might take issue with these dishes because ‘fajita’ generally refers to grilled slices of meat, served with cheese, onions and peppers, while burritos generally contain refried beans.



However, my chilli fajita (wonderfully outlandish in itself) was stuffed with lovely fresh lettuce and wonderful crunchy pieces of tortilla chip - not traditional, exactly, but both welcome additions.



The burrito was huge and was filled up with rice and (un-fried) kidney beans. We were so bewildered by the size of this wrap that we decided to place it on some postal scales, just to see how much weight we could expect to put on post-consumption. Impressively, it weighed in at just under three quarters of a kilogram.

Just to put that into perspective, 750g is (possibly, sort of) the same weight as a 6-month-old unborn baby and using Royal Mail, it would cost £2.70 to post first class within the UK. Don’t do that though because I’ve heard that posting foetuses is not regarded as particularly PC.



Now, where was I? Oh yes, at the takeaway counter. If you listen carefully, whilst waiting for your order, you will be sure to hear a gentle hum, followed by a distinctive "PING!" I feel I should mention this because some people will immediately and perhaps slightly snobbishly, dismiss these burritos as Subway-in-a-sombrero.



You know what though? Even Heston has claimed that microwaves are the best way to cook some foods (fennel) and if you want your hot food in a matter of minutes, then short of a blowtorch, you're going to have to suck it up. Just make sure you wait for 45 minutes before consuming, to let all the radiation settle down.

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Is £5 is a bit steep for a takeaway wrap in Sheffield?  Not really. Because as you start to munch on this beast, you begin to wonder - much like the re-paving of the Moor - whether it will ever end. Unlike the re-paving of the Moor though, you really don't want it to.

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Bragazzis - Review

This week I've gone all continental. Yep - here I am, reviewing good old Bragazzis in the Mercury Newspaper (available in print from many outlets across South Yorkshire).

This is an orange and hazelnut cake. 

BRAGAZZI'S - STYLE WITH SUBSTANCE

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Food Review: Bragazzi's Deli

Address: 220 Abbeydale Road, Sheffield S7



Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com

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Bragazzis, a popular and independent little café-cum-deli, is located on Abbeydale Road, Sheffield’s very own up-and-coming ‘in vogue’ area.



Some may say that the London Road stretch is the Sheffield equivalent of Dalston, despite the fact that Dalstonites are currently amidst an identity crisis after Harry Styles was spotted in the area, thereby instantly transforming the neighbourhood from one of unwashed hair and laddered tights to clean-living, bubblegum pop and colossal, veneered smiles.

Barring any appearances from One Direction, Bragazzis retains its cool and serves very nice food and coffee too. The mouth-watering sandwiches – made with bread thicker than me in Science class (circa 2003) - served heated or cold, your choice (£3.85) and selection of freshly-made, routinely innovative cakes (£2.50) are certainly the highlights. With fillings and flavours varying each day, you’ll have to frequent the place more habitually than Katie Price swings by the OK! Magazine HQ before you need have the same one twice.

To describe the food adequately, I feel that it is necessary to call in the help of pretend-Dr Gillian McKeith and her silly adage “you are what you eat”.

When in Bragazzis, I am a beautiful Italian supermodel, dressed from head-to-toe in the best quality designer clothing. I am deep, complex and memorable for all the right reasons and I’m the kind of woman that Berlusconi wishes he could go out with but I certainly wouldn’t waste my time on him.

And so, there is a reason why McKeith is as qualified as Homer Simpson to dole out advice about food.  As I sit here, a mundane, quarter-Pole and non-model from Rotherham, I can begin to see why. This takes nothing away from the food though.

I had a large Americano (£2.10) and my date had a small mocha (£2). Bragazzis have developed their own blend of coffee, which you can buy from the deli department, if you so choose (£4.50). Also available at the deli is a selection of anti pasti: grilled artichokes, plump marinated olives (both £2.20 per 100g) and three types of thick, authentic pesto (£2.75 per 100g).

The piles of sandwiches, stacks of jars and abundance of produce provide the perfect example of “good clutter” and if I had known about Bragazzis a few years ago as a teenager, I would have taken my parents there to show them how stylish organised-disorganisation can look. The tables and chairs are delightfully mismatched, presumably having been sourced from jumble sales and generous grandmas alike.

You don’t pay your bill until you’re ready to leave and instead of being presented with an itemised list, you simply cobble together what you’ve consumed with the help of the person that served you. The day’s selection of cakes will be scrawled across the blackboard in the corner and there isn’t an American soft-drink in sight.

This is the kind of place that the big corporate coffee bores wish they were; they will try desperately to imitate such panache and they will inevitably fail. So make sure you enjoy the perfect antidote to all those cardboard cakes, flat-pack interiors and seasonally-coloured cups and give this joint a whirl.

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