Thursday, 26 December 2013

An Essay: Rethinking Cannibalism

Carving up an old enemy

And so. Is it really that bad? I’ve become obsessed with the idea of eating a placenta. I don’t particularly ever want to eat one and I have no desire to offer any future placenta I may or may not produce to anyone (unless they really WANTED to eat it, in which case, who am I to stand in their way?)

What I think about is – wow, you can eat what is basically some human without breaking any laws. I don’t really know whether eating a placenta counts as cannibalism though. It’s probably more like eating a yolk in a chicken egg; one big ball of nutrients.

So, putting placentas to one side, which I imagine is what happens to the majority of them, what about lipo and unfortunate accidents? A finger chopped off here, a head chopped off there.

It’s a confusing area and so I’ve started to begin categorising things in my head:
  • A fingernail? NO – it’s dead
  • A bogie? NO – it’s not part of the body
  • A kitten? NO – it’s an animal
That’s as far as I have got but any ‘moot points’ you can think of, please let me know and we can discuss them!

Anyway, vegetarians generally don’t eat goose fat etc. and so let’s just SAY that you decided to have some post-Christmas liposuction and then you took a pot of it home to make some crispy roast potatoes. I bet you all recoiled – eeeewwwwwww, that’s disgusting… but calm, calm, calm – get all your reactionary shit out of the way and thiiiink.

You have probably had a better life than a goose. You know what you’ve eaten (and after all, you’ve EATEN it so it can’t be that bad) and you know that you haven’t been rolling around in your mate’s shit (hopefully).  So eat your fat! It’s free (minus the lipo costs), it’s easy (okay, well it is serious surgery but after that, it’s a breeze!), it saves an animal (you’re still alive!) and it’s excellent recycling.

And now for a thought in my head that should never have made it out: to all you people out there who eat very bloody, very rare steaks… this really SO bad?

I think we need to start a movement and I as the Mean Muncher want to be the movement’s birth mother (placenta for sale!)

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