Potato Wedges

Self control. Discipline. Strength.

Just a few of the traits I do not possess. Some people can eat a normal bar of chocolate, feel satisfied and move on with their day. Other people can go out for a couple of drinks after work – hell, maybe even three or four – and then trot off back home feeling satisfied. Some amazing people can get their laptop out, have a quick browse through Facebook, update their Tumblr with a picture of 1990’s nostalgia and then turn off their laptop and resume real life.

I am not one of the aforementioned people. In fact, I am the antithesis of every rational and controlled person on this planet – which to me, seems like EVERYONE.

Let’s take the same examples and apply them to my life. The only chocolate I eat comes in packages which are plastered with “To share!”, “Seal back up for later!” and “For all the family to enjoy!”. Are they TRYING to rub it in? I mean, does anyone actually use those shit stickers that are never big enough or sticky enough to actually hold a bag of Maltesers shut? Well, anyway, I frequently eat a bag of these chocolates a day. And then I move onto sweets and crisps.

Nights out and drinking is another failing point and my work Christmas party is a prime example. Instead of going home afterwards, like all the other well-behaved and rational people, I decided to stay out. Even by 5am I was sitting at a bus stop on Bishopsgate thinking that I wasn’t yet ready to go back to my hotel (I got a hotel as little Christmas present from the Boss). To make matters worse, I was the ONLY one who was meant to be working the next day. I turned up to work at 11.30am (only because the hotel checking out time was at noon) and spent the day on a make-shift bed (two office chairs) with intermittent trips to the toilets to stick my head in the bowl.

I imagine I’m not the only person with an internet addiction but I really think I take it to another level, to the point that I don’t really socialise in real life because I spend ALL my time reading blogs of people I wish I knew but don’t. Probably those people would never actually want to know me, as I imagine that they have become interesting people by hanging around with people who are also interesting.

Anyway, I made some potato wedges and they were so fucking good that I pulled them out of the oven, took an un-opened tub of soured cream from the fridge and proceeded to eat all of them, straight off the baking tray and into my mouth. When you find yourself: a) not using a plate; and b) standing whilst eating home-cooking, you know that you are a failure.

Potato Wedges

2 jumbo baking potatoes

Olive oil

1. Cut up each potato into 16 wedges. Lie them on a baking tray and drizzle with olive oil. Use your hands to get them all covered in the oil. Arrange them as a single layer on the tray.

2. Stick them in the oven at about 200c (fan). After about 20 minutes turn each wedge over and stick them in for another 20 minutes until they’re golden.

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