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| It doesn't look great but tastes great, trust me! |
When I was born, I was apparently transferred into a sort of baby nursery. Having never given birth or been present at a birth OR been the type of person to ask people who HAVE given birth to proceed with their story beyond the point of "and then I felt as if my body had torn in half and everything was being pulled out of it", I don't know what happens, exactly.
But apparently, once the baby is born, it’s whisked away to meet all the other babies. This must be really interesting because I'm sure a lot of them must meet again, later in life: future classmates, couples, enemies etc.; they could form a Facebook group or something. It is also really scary because I can only assume that this is the point at which most baby swaps generally occur.
If I was a midwife, I think that would be my number one fear. Throughout my short working life (including a small stint as a reluctant PA), I have discovered that I really do get into muddles with remarkable ease. As long as I have more than one thing to do, it is inevitable that I will do everything wrong. I suppose the moral here, is to never ask me to do anything for you, especially where it involves humans who can't speak up and say "Oi you fucking idiot, this isn't my Mum".
Anyway, legend has it that in the dark depths of my mother's first night of interrupted sleep, she awoke to a nurse bellowing my full name followed by "PLEASE STOP SCREAMING". My mum probably drifted back off and tried to ignore her newly-created five-hour-old-problem ("Shit, shit, what have I done? Push her back in! Please!") before she was tapped on the shoulder by a different nurse who said that she was bringing me back to sleep with my mum, as I had woken up all the other babies with my howling.
Now, I obviously can't remember this happening but when I first heard this story, I thought....THAT'S ME!! THAT IS PURE ME!! I am needy and attention-seeking BY HEART and I suppose that this story provides a sort of a defence to being like that, doesn't it? Doesn’t it! I mean, it was my first act upon this earth. It is basically the most me I have ever been, before any social conditioning or lessons on selfishness. I'm a narcissist! A real, genuine, complete and utter cow! By nature!
I tend to be at my worst when the following align: I am incredibly bored and the person I am with is incredibly busy. However, over the years, thanks to a lot of "piss offs", I have largely learnt to curb this aspect of my personality. The ONE thing, though, that will undoubtedly bring this out of me is an overload of sugar. If this is the case, I don't just get annoying but irrational and depressed too and I do think that I could one day commit an attention-seeking murder thanks to a combination of sugar and being ignored.
I have therefore decided to give up sugar for a sort-of new year’s resolution (I'm not stupid; it will not last for a year) and let me tell you that, so far, it has not been a complete disaster! Day 4 and I am still flying high on only the most natural of sugars.
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| Look at all the healthy ingredients it has in it! |
It has been, in part, thanks to this lunchbox salad from the BBC’s Olive magazine. Now, do not be alarmed, but this salad does contain raw courgettes. I was initially horrified, especially when I tasted some of the freshly peeled courgette, yuck. But thankfully when it has had its dressing on for a few days (eugh, sounds like a bad cut after medical treatment), it really does absorb the flavour and soften.
I did also have a catastrophe with the quinoa, which I had never cooked before. I don't know if it is as temperamental as rice apparently is (which I have never cooked the conventional way) but my water to quinoa ratios were clearly way out and I ended up with a very mushy lump.
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| The quinoa catastrophe (I still used this and it was fine) |
If, after all that, you still fancy it (and you should because it is such a lovely lunchbox alternative to a sandwich or a boring unhealthy bought-lunch), you can go straight to the recipe here or follow the instructions below...
These quantities serve two, so I doubled the quantities below and used a full block of feta. This gave me four portions, which allowed me to have a treat on Friday!
Ingredients
75g quinoa
1 large courgette
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tbsp olive oil
4 spring onions,finely sliced
100g cherry tomatoes, halved
1 red chilli, finely chopped
100g feta cheese, crumbled
small bunch of parsley, chopped
1. Somehow, cook your quinoa. Obviously read the instructions on the pack. Mine said 1 part quinoa to 5 parts water. This was too much water...but that might be due to my dodgy measuring so make sure you do precisely 1:5 to avoid mush. If you do get mush, then don't despair because it's still worth it. For the last 10 minutes of cooking time, I dropped in a veggie stock cube for a touch of extra flavour. Drain, rinse and drain (again) your cooked quinoa with cold water.
2. Meanwhile, chop the ends off the courgette and use a potato peeler to slice into ribbons. At first, I peeled all the skin off and kept going round like this until I had a mini courgette left. This isn't the best way. Instead, scrape down the length of one side and keep scraping over the same place until you come to the other side.
3. Mix your red wine vinegar and oil, and season. My red wine vinegar was very out of date but after a quick Google, it seems that it doesn't matter - so get looking in the depths of your cupboards.
4. Put the rest of the ingredients in a large bowl, then pour over the dressing and toss everything together.
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