Thursday, 7 March 2013

Chico-Chile - Review




IT'S CHICO (-CHILE) TIME
Food Review: Chico Chile
Address: 1 Orchard Square, Sheffield S1 2FB

Visit Laura's blog at www.meanmuncher.blogspot.com
This week, I went rogue, becoming a bit like a gastronomic Jack Bauer: I took the brief (“to review restaurants”), spat on it, trod on it and brutally hurled it into the green recycling paper and cardboard compartment at work. Yep, I went wild.

You see, instead of sauntering out one evening to a restaurant, to take pleasure in the service and the vibes, I decided to review Chico-Chile, a takeaway counter located at the bottom end of Orchard Square.

This place has been around for ages; first called Pirates Pastys and presumably selling pasties, then called Pirates Pastys but selling Mexican chillis and wraps and finally, the owner told me to come back this week for the latest renaissance, where the name finally bears some resemblance to the product. You might call this place the Snoop Lion of the culinary world.


I plumped for the Quorn chilli fajita (£4) and my friend took a diablo chicken burrito (£5). Now, Mexican purists might take issue with these dishes because ‘fajita’ generally refers to grilled slices of meat, served with cheese, onions and peppers, while burritos generally contain refried beans.

However, my chilli fajita (wonderfully outlandish in itself) was stuffed with lovely fresh lettuce and wonderful crunchy pieces of tortilla chip - not traditional, exactly, but both welcome additions.

The burrito was huge and was filled up with rice and (un-fried) kidney beans. We were so bewildered by the size of this wrap that we decided to place it on some postal scales, just to see how much weight we could expect to put on post-consumption. Impressively, it weighed in at just under three quarters of a kilogram.


Just to put that into perspective, 750g is (possibly, sort of) the same weight as a 6-month-old unborn baby and using Royal Mail, it would cost £2.70 to post first class within the UK. Don’t do that though because I’ve heard that posting foetuses is not regarded as particularly PC.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, at the takeaway counter. If you listen carefully, whilst waiting for your order, you will be sure to hear a gentle hum, followed by a distinctive "PING!" I feel I should mention this because some people will immediately and perhaps slightly snobbishly, dismiss these burritos as Subway-in-a-sombrero.


You know what though? Even Heston has claimed that microwaves are the best way to cook some foods (fennel) and if you want your hot food in a matter of minutes, then short of a blowtorch, you're going to have to suck it up. Just make sure you wait for 45 minutes before consuming, to let all the radiation settle down.

Is £5 is a bit steep for a takeaway wrap in Sheffield?  Not really. Because as you start to munch on this beast, you begin to wonder - much like the re-paving of the Moor - whether it will ever end. Unlike the re-paving of the Moor though, you really don't want it to.

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